It’s almost been a year since I started writing my blog. A journey is what I had embarked upon and a journey is what I have experienced.
After having a conversation with a dear friend, sharing topics with each other on relationships, personal growth and general life topics, he said to me, “April, you’ve come a long way, your journey in the last year has been a tough road, you've always remained upbeat regardless what has been throw your direction”
Back in June 2012, I can say I took the painting of my life, threw it out the window and started over. Okay, maybe not start over completely, but took a deeper look at who I was. Don’t get me wrong, I have loved and embraced my life, every aspect, every challenge, every happy moment, every disappointment. I knew I wanted more out of this life, but I also knew there was some tweaking that needed to be done and I love change. So, what better way than to make those changes happen and open new doors.
Before I talk about my journey over the past year, I first have to touch on my racing. I get asked quite a bit, how the mountain bike racing is going. Without giving a million excuses, it has not gone as I would have hoped for. I started my race season with a high, I felt great and ready to achieve some podiums for the season. But....my body has had something else in mind. My second race went great, and although I was not 1, 2 or 3, I still felt like I did a great job. But, this is where it all starts to fall apart. My 3rd race was the hill climb in Winter Park, I’m not a fan of this race, but I did it regardless, yeah my strong suit is not climbing either, so it was okay, but not a great performance. The next race was the Super Loop at Winter Park. Two days before the race I drove my car into the garage with my bike on top. I manage to destroy my bike frame as well as damage my car. The entire roof rack was ripped off the car. Now for those of you out there who sadly have done this, you know this sucks! There is no better way of putting it. I was completely at a lost. The bike was brand new, just purchased 3 months prior. So, I was scrambling to figure out what I was going to do, knowing I had a race two days ahead of me. I was fortunate enough to have called the bike shop where I purchased the last bike and learned that they has the same exact bike in the shop.
I wasted no time to get there to purchase the bike. Unfortunately, lesson learned on my race day, the bike needed some tuning. So for my 4th race, 5 minutes into my race, the chain drops when I am trying to shift. I had a wonderful gentleman help me, but we knew that the fix may not last the entire race. Once the chain was put back on, I started climbing, shifted gears and yes it dropped again. This continued another 3 times. At this point, I knew my race was over. It took everything I had not to sit on the bike and cry. For the first time ever, I DNF a race. I was disappointed, I felt like I let my team down, this was hard for me to swallow.
It turns out that the bike needed work, the rear hanger was slightly bent and the front derailleur was too high. Bike was repaired in time for my next race, which is the point to point in Winter Park. Let’s just say, epic fail. No power in my legs, provided for a ride instead of a race. My body has not been in the game for a bit now. I have had more low days physically than up days. My mind wants to go and my legs say no.
This has been a frustrating aspect for me. I am not one that gives up easily, but my body has completely gone in a direction I can’t ignore.
I was able to get on my bike and do two fun rides, one of which I happened to meet a fellow rider who we had raced together earlier this season. It was great cause her and I were able to exchange how riding/racing was going and we both shared the same feelings of where we were with it. We rode a bit before I turned around to head back to Denver from Snowmass. I had a good ride planned for the next day and wanted to rest up some. This ride was like the old April was back. I felt great, my legs felt much better than they had in weeks and I was encouraged. So, not to get too excited about the way I was feeling I still forced myself to take a few days off from any exercise.
So, with another race approaching, I wish I could say I am excited about it, but my desire to get on the bike is less than that driving force I have experienced in the past. I am much more pleased with my last race (last weekend), although I didn’t podium, I felt much stronger, faster and overall happier with my performance. The course was long and challenging, my last 4 miles of the race, I took a digger over the handlebars, I don’t remember how I did it, but just that I got back on and kept pedaling. This race, my class was small, very small, only 4 girls in my age group. I placed 4th, but having felt better on my bike than I had in weeks was my success story of this race and reminded of how grateful I was for the experience.
Moving onto the last year.....
My reflection over the past year comes with many accomplishes, moments of sorrow and moments of celebrations. I lost my best friend Frosty in September. The little guy fought a disease his entire life and although I would have loved to have him forever, we had an amazing 12 years. The one thing I can say about him was the imprint he left, his ability to love anything and everyone. His kindness although a dog, spoke volumes to my heart. I am reminded to show that same kindness with people in my life. I continue to work on this area and am very grateful for having the opportunity to share and experience 12 years with him.
The next major event came a month after losing Frosty. I learned that the company I was working for had plans to lay me off. This was such a hard thing to swallow, I took this personally. Learning later that it was never about me, but actually something that needed to happen long before. Funny how we are forced into a situation, even if we don’t want to deal with it. It took 3 months of interviewing and perseverance, but I was very fortunate to had been given an offer with a small growing company. I started February 4th of this year and we are moving in a direction we had all hoped for. Being new to this industry has quite honestly been so rewarding in so many ways. I am learning new stuff every day, things I never imagine. It’s exciting to be part of something so small, knowing that it can become something so big. I extend my gratitude to my company for allowing me this experience.
I also shared some of my dating experiences with you on this blog. These opportunities have been something I look back at and say, “I learned something from these experiences”. I learned to really listen to someone, to respect them, be aware of what they really want, to be open to new experiences, to be really involved, instead of just there. Even though we were not meant to be life partners I've really took a deeper path to understand those relationships. Relationships are valuable to me. I do truly wish the best for each person who's path I cross or theirs mine. Of some those dates I was on, a few of those guys became good friends, one of them, we actually have a business relationship with each other, so I am reminded that although it didn’t turn out as a love match, it turned out to be a fulfilling relationship in a different respect. How could I have asked for anything differently? I’m also reminded that, even though I date someone and it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have a great friend who I may want to introduce that person too. I truly believe in love and that every person deserves a golden opportunity, if I can be of assistance in that area, that will always fill my heart with happiness.
When I chose to take a different beat and path with my life, people asked why, my reasoning may not be one everyone can understand, but I can truly say that I desired more out of this so interesting thing called “life”. What I learned is this. “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” Babe Ruth. We must keep swinging that bat, turning that pedal, or running just a bit further. We will eventually hit that home run, finish that ride or run into our destination.
I can happily say that I am more aware of that now than I was ever in the past. So, my journey in the last year has meant something more to me than I could honestly express. I chose to hire a life shaping coach, someone that could help guide me in utilizing my own tools, someone that gave me the tools to step out of my box and get real with myself. I know this may all sound like rubbish to some and that’s okay. I’ve reflected while writing this blog and looked back on the last year and can be quite happy with my achievements within.
As KCB and I have spoken many times on the phone, there is one comment that he says to me that has really stuck with me over time, “I love that you speak your truth April”, yes, I do, I try. I still am working on the delivery of it all, I know I may not always be successful every single time, but what I do know is I will continue to improve no matter what obstacle, challenge or bike accident (laugh with me). For this I can pat myself on the back and say well done. If anything, I have taken away in the last year is that, I fully have come to love the person I am, to be grateful for every experience, every person I meet and embrace life no matter how fast or slow it may get, no matter how crazy the climb may be or how scary the downhill is. EMBRACE IT! It only took 39 years but, I can smile in the mirror and look at that individual and say “WOW, I REALLY DO LOVE YOU AND YOU DESERVE ONLY THE BEST”. Do it, I guarantee, that no one loves you like the person in the mirror.
So a year and its been a amazing journey, I’ve had moments of tears, moments of sadness, but so many moments of happiness, accomplishments and laughter! I continue to grow and wake up every morning filled with gratitude for the people in my life, family, friends and pets.
As I bring a close to this writing, I send much love and cheer to everyone!
Music is always something I love sharing... a few faves of mine!
