Is it broken?......

I have always thought of myself as an upbeat person, happy, positive, driven and always encouraging, but maybe that button is broken?

I started writing this blog last week after some personal events took place. I haven’t shared that with anyone except 2 people. Yes, two whole people. It’s nothing major, but it was enough to shake me a bit and leave me feeling a bit down for a few days and quite stressed. Than I remembered what Don Miguel Ruiz wrote on his 4 Agreements and everything I have learned from Leianne.

First, find my clear space and breathe. I had just returned from a beautiful trip in Puerto Rico. I had so much to be grateful for, the company was amazing and quite surprising in many ways. But, more about that later. Remembering everything I have learned in the past year, the time I spent to make that all happen and guess what no one did it, I did it all by myself and gosh darn it, I have something to be happy about.

After getting back to my good space, everything changed and what I was going to write about, didn’t seem valid at this point.

I know I have mentioned Don Miguel Ruiz book before. But, really EVERYONE should read it. I will not let negativity creep into my life. I worked too hard to let that happen. I will not let what another has said to me, get to me. This is one of the Four Agreements “Don’t Take Anything Personally.  Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering”.

Wow, that gives me chills just reading it again, but a good refresher, cause I think we all forget this in our daily lives. I know I do, and I feel I am pretty aware of myself and surroundings and events that take place.

So, why is this all a big deal? A tragic event took place last week with one of my family members. Out of respect for my family I will not go into details, but it was very sad and very difficult for those closest to the situation. True to form, my family got caught up in some “family drama” and yes, I was one of those individuals who was involved. The outcome although heart -breaking for me, may well be the best course of action for me and my life and future. I’ve been the fixer in a lot of my relationships, family, friends, professional life. For so long, I would do whatever possible to make sure someone is happy, that everything is okay, but all along forgetting the most important person and that is myself.

After time spent thinking of the situation and reading back to myself that it’s not about me, I was able to let go of all that drama. Everyone hits a rough patch in their lives from time to time, but consistently being negative and never finding happiness in anything, well all I can say is I’ve chosen not to be a part of that! If a person is on a path of self destruction, the only person that can help them is THEM! Yes, we as family and friends can offer support and be caring, but at what point does one draw the line in the sand? The saying goes, if you keep failing at something, the only common denominator is you! Well for this particular situation I know where I have drawn my line and its quite clear.

When I took the journey for change in my life last year, I can say that the things I have learned are invaluable and I feel completely whole as a person and have never been happier. I chose how I deal with people and the situations and around me. Although I may slip and fall at times, I always get back up, brush the dirt off my knees and move full force ahead. Being that I like to fix situations, whether that be my bike, stuff around my house, relationships in turmoil, the the most important person you can care for is you. Once you are able to do that, than everything else falls into line. This I can say has and continues to happen for me.

I am completely grateful for my journey and when I look back, I can say that my journey has been quite amazing in so many ways. I smile daily.

I’ve embarked on a new journey and I can say with a whole heart, that NO, it’s not broken. My blogging  in many ways is therapeutic and I continue to receive many amazing compliments as to my blog. As to each one Thank You!

This Saturday is my mother’s birthday and I want to take this moment to tell her that I love you mother and thank you for giving me life. I hope your day is relaxing and wonderful!

True to form, no blog of my is complete without leaving you all a song. I don’t believe I have yet to share one of my favorite bands, so enjoy and have a wonderful weekend and remember you are precious, yes you!

Way overdue posting!

Yes, I am way overdue on my writings for my blog. I have pretty much put it to the side the last month or so. But, all for good reason.

As most of you know I took a new job that started in February and wow is all I can say. Yes, I am working from home, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been any busier with work. I’ve learned a couple of things since working from home. Yes, I can crawl out of bed and take a few steps into my office within 5 mins, but I learned that having a routine is best suited for me. I need to get up, make breakfast, turn the computer on and get my mind prepared for my day.

Second item I have taken away, is I love working from home, no girl drama, the kind of drama where you are left wondering if you are back in highschool again. No jealousy, no stepping on anyone’s toes, well maybe my own, no politics. Just days looking out my office window (my living room window), thinking to myself, why did I ever sign up for any of that? Corporate American I can officially say I don't miss you. I like working for small business.

I am very grateful to be working for the company that I am. Being the only girl with a few good men is much more my style. No drama and no my feelings don’t get hurt if they offer up suggestions, ideas on improvement. I can actually say the only stressful part of my job is when the phone rings and its 4 calls at once. Everyone helps each other out and the meaning of team has really come full circle with this new job. I am very happy that this journey that I was lead upon has taken the path that it did.

So onward and upward is my new motto. With this new path of employment, I've find myself with the ability to travel a bit too.

I remember I made a statement at the beginning of the year, that I needed to get to the beach. Well, that statement has become a reality for me. A friend asked me if I wanted to join him in Puerto Rico for few days and well, I would be quite crazy to say no to that offer. So, I leave tomorrow for a much awaited trip to a tropical paradise. I am so excited I can hardly stand myself! Then I come home for yes, 8 hours and make my way back to DIA for a 3-day trip to St. George for a work conference.

Once I get back, I will be putting many hours in on the bike, my first race is the 20th of April, I’m confident I will be ready, but, I will need to put in some hard time on the bike. I’ve been keeping to my running schedule since darkness falls early during the week and I still work 8-5 job. I’ve been running before work or after, so I know my fitness by April will be where I want it to be. Once I get home from my work trip. It’s all bike! Yes, I am writing this to myself, this is my promise to self. Plus, I will have me day light time now.

I can say I have learned a lot from training in the past year. For me, I learned that running is my core training. It keeps me strong for the bike season, I can pedal faster and longer. I see my team mates putting in long long hours on the bike now and I have to give them mad props, I know myself too well, to know that by June I would be burnt out. Also, racing for me has to be fun, no bueno if no fun. I will always enjoy a beer after a race, ride, etc It’s all about having a great time for me.

So as I look back on the last 3, 6 or 12 months, my life has brought many great changes, the journey has been rewarding even though I had days where I question that reward. I am looking forward to a 5-day trip to Puerto Rico and yes I will be working 3 of those 5 days, but the idea I can work and feel the ocean breeze upon my skin sounds quite amazing.

So farewell and until next week....

As usual I have chosen a song, this is quite fitting for my little adventure away.

Much love all!

Jobs, bikes and oh maybe

I know it’s been a few weeks since my last blog. Most of you know that my life has taken a change, an exciting new change. Yes, after 5 years working for Liberty, I gave my notice in mid-January and my last day was the 31st.

I am preparing for my short trip to Phoenix for 3 days of training with my new boss. He emailed me on Thursday and said. “Oh by the way, it’s casual wear with us, put those business clothes in storage.” HELLZ yeah, although admittedly I stopped getting dressed up for Liberty back in October last year. I feel like the big elephant has left the room and I can finally breathe. What did I learn from all this, one might ask? I learned A LOT!

I learn that when you stop putting your heart into something you love and you try to regain it back, and you can't, your done. I was done with Liberty 2 years ago. I was comfortable, I had a solid paycheck, benefits, etc. But, I was not climbing the ladder, I was not gaining any momentum. I was just there! 

I also learned that keeping my eggs for me and not giving them away, was huge. I put so much stalk into my position that I lost sight of what really made me happy, when doing this it had huge consequences for me once I learned I was going to be laid-off.  A dear friend, said to me back in October, he said, April I never go into work thinking I am somebody, I’m just a number, number 56437. Then when something goes down, you’re not attached to it. You don’t give them the ability to take your balls out of your basket.

Liberty started as a small company, mostly family members, college friends. It grew quickly in a short amount of time and I grew with it. I will take what I have learned and apply it to my new company. I worked hard and I come away with such an achievement of success along with gratitude. Every experience in our lives is a journey and although I fought this journey in the beginning, I quickly learned why and what was to come.

So, thanks for all the support to a few you, you know who you are, you listened, encouraged and help me down the path.

As for my personal life, I was so busy with finishing up the job at Liberty and quite exhausted, that I put everything secondary. Chandler my roommate moved out. Although I will miss him, have to say best roommate EVER, I converted his room into my now new office space. I’ve really enjoyed having my home completely back to myself.

Mountain biking, I have been training, but January was a slow start for me, so I am ready to go February. I rode both days this weekend and even though I will be Phoenix for 3 days, I will get in some running, 75 degree temps are well PERFECT. I wish I had time to ride my bike, but I will be training, so running will have to take place for a few days. Than once I am back, I will be up and at them. Oh I did purchase a new bike. OH YES! So excited, it will be here first week of March. She is HOT, HOT, HOT!

As for everything else, I know what you all are thinking...Men... Yeah well, after my blogging of my dates last fall, I took a break from dating for December and January. I have been on a few dates and all of them were much better than the dates last year. MUCH! I don’t have any crazy stories, no stinky drunk men, no “I might have time to date” men, nope very normal gentlemen. Which is very refreshing. So all I can say is stay tune. I’ll update accordingly.

Lastly, I am full of gratitude to all my family, friends and readers. It’s great to hear from people that they miss my blogs and enjoyed hearing about my journey. All I can say is, I’m real, you get me completely.

I will be resuming my blogs weekly again and looking forward to it. 

Here is my new toy. Like I said HOT! 

As always, my blog is no blog without music.

This song, is about the journey, a journey richly consumed in my work. Well that is what it means to me. A slower song for AP, but a beautiful song none the less.

My Jibber

I started writing this a few weeks ago, I was going to post it before Christmas and then I opted out of posting it. I left what I wrote and came back to this and thought, yeah, this is part of my story. This is part of that journey I went through in 2012. I was not a big fan of 2012 at all! Nope,  but I will remember the good that came from that year, the experiences I felt and dealt with.

One of the highlights of 2012 was taking it upon myself for self improvement, self exploring in all senses. I really can say I have become a different person. Happier in so many ways, living life, feeling, and sensing each moment I am grateful to experience, so as I continue to write for this week’s blog here is my jibber.

I have to say I am exhausted and could use some real R&R. I pray that it’s coming! Between working full-time, my normal day job, working up at Loveland Ski resort, which is completely rewarding and I love and fully enjoy and then yes, another part time job in the evenings. Lack of sleep is something that is becoming my norm.
Why so many jobs? For those of you that don’t know, I took a demotion in October 2012, after finding out that I was actually going to be laid-off. I’ve been told so many different things, as for the reasoning. The reasoning doesn’t matter to me at this moment in my life, what I learned from that dreaded day in October was I’m keeping my own damn eggs for myself and not giving my power away to corporate America.

If you have read my blog, than this all makes sense now. I’ve been working for the same company over 5 years and when I found out that I was being let go, well saying my world came crashing down was putting it lightly. I worked, sweated, and gave everything I had to this company. I was sad to say the least, but....after feeling that bottom of the pit, I chose TO RISE ABOVE IT ALL!

This change allowed me to make some changes in my life, all for the better and gave me a brighter outlook on 2013. I am very hopeful that all my work over the last couple of months pays off. It’s no secret that my intention of staying where I currently am was not my goal. I feel I have completed what I was there for and the time to move forward. I have learned that being in a place of complantency is just not good enough for me. Nope, I want and desire more in my life and for that I will do more and be more. I am April and that is the one thing I know for sure. This girl is driven and fights to the death!

As the 2012 year wrapped up, I am happy to announce that I was selected to be on a race team for 2013 mountain season. I am super excited about racing for 2013, the past few years I have put many miles on my mountain bike and explored many new places and pushed myself beyond the limits on some of these rides. Now is the time to put all that work together and make it happen for my race season. I will train, train and train to make this happen. Also, just this week I accepted a new position with a software company that provides services to the State of Utah and their Attorneys for Electronic filing. The best part of this job is I will be working with a small fantastic group of men of whom I have developed a great professional relationship with. I am eager to finally put everything I have learned over the past 12 years in the legal profession and apply it to this new position. One of the perks is I get to work from home. I really wanted this and it has now become my reality. I am quite pleased to say the least. As for the other jobs, I had to make a hard decision to give up my position at Loveland, with mountain bike training and racing, I have to put my energies where they are needed. As for the other part-time job, I can do it whenever so, I will keep it for extra mountain biking money :) I need a new bike, shoes, helmet, camelbak, yeah baby, let’s go shopping.

Farewell 2012 and HELLO 2013. I am so happy to see you and what is all to come.

I apologize for not writing over the past few weeks, but now you can understand my reasoning.

Much love.....

I can’t tell you why exactly but I love this song. So here you go

Merry Christmas and many blessings!

I am taking the next two weeks off of writing and spending time with number one,  myself and all the people who mean the world to me, family and friends.

I am happy to say good bye to 2012 for many reasons, but at the same time happy to have the experiences I have traveled.

I wish all my readers much love, joy and peace! You all deserve the best this world has to give each one of you!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY 2013!!!

And a song to finish off the year!

Make it happen!

A night with my wonderful girlfriends always help spark good conversations for my blogs, so as we gathered to share our weekly events, work, dates and activities for the weekend, we once again opened pandora’s box of the dating world. My girlfriends asked me how dating was working out for me, I chuckled a bit and said, I have raised my white flag, surrender to the dating Gods and chosen to put my energy into other areas of my life (like racing my mountain bike). But, with great discussions comes great blogs. And here we find another blog on dating.

Make it happen is my new motto for men and dating. A simple request one may think, but not as simple as I am learning.

After spending a Friday evening having dinner and drinks with some girlfriends, we shared and compared more of our dating stories. My last meeting with a guy was a bike ride, lunch and then drinks a few nights later, after that, nothing, but long text messages of which I hate! I don’t want to talk to you through text message but rather, in person or on the phone. The phone WTH is that one may ask? Well, this amazing device, where you can hear tones, and get this, voices, you actually can hear someone’s voice. But, back to dinner and drinks with my girlfriends. After listening to my single girlfriends, it was simple, what our requests were. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Just like anything else in life, it is or is not, right? Let’s break this down, for my active (sports) people, you’re either riding a bike or not? You’re either racing or not? It’s not like "hey look at me, I’m kinda riding my bike". Running, you’re either running or not running, okay maybe a run/walk, but whatever you are doing, you’re doing it or not right? I guess in many ways one can argue the actual facts of this, but that is not my goal of this blog. My goal is, to make it happen. Damn straight, I don’t do things half-fast, I’m all in or nothing, baby I’m in.

As much as I have a strong drive for life and love, I get you can’t rush love, you have to let it happen, it will happen when you least expect it and so on. I think I’ve heard this more than I ever recited the pledge of the allegiance in school. When sharing our stories, the topic of texting came up. Why text a woman the night of and ask her what her plans are that evening? I mean come on yes, we are adventurous and spontaneous but, really? Seriously, if you want to hang out, go to dinner, bike ride, drinks, MAKE IT HAPPEN! The part of us waiting around for you is likely not going to happen, we are busy women, in a busy world, we have lives and believe me, I’m not sitting on the couch waiting for your call, more than likely I am making plans with friends or wait maybe with another guy that wants my attention, like my BIKE!

I asked a good guy friend of mine on Sunday his thoughts on the situation, he is also single, being doing the dating thing, so maybe his perspective is not dead on, but what I did find interesting is what he said about texting and remember this came from a guy. Texting is non-committal, passive is exactly what he said. YUP, I think he was right. It’s an passive-aggressive behavior and I have seen this way too much recently. Have men lost their spontaneity, their drive to be make it work? Let me tell you, relationships take work, regardless if that is professional or personal. If you want someone’s attention than tell them, show them, JUST DO SOMETHING! Yes, you risk the chance of rejection, I get it, I mean ,I really get it MEN. I have been rejected more this year, than I can count in my entire adult life, but, I never would have been given those fine moments and opportunities if I didn’t act upon it. Love is a risk for all, and without risk life is not worth living in my opinion. Life is feeling, being and enduring what may be painful, but was so worth the pain and risk.

Technology has become the great communicator for relationships this day. But, it’s a sad world that we live in when a person uses text messages to express their true feelings, desires and needs. As I recall, we are still living creatures that yearn for more than a cold device to keep us company in the evenings. Hell, if you don’t think so, look around, do you have a dog, cat, bird, snake or fish? If you answered yes, then I have made my point. If you don’t have an animal, I’m sure there is good reason for it.  Regardless, if one wants to admit it to themselves, we all want love and we all want that moment of feeling needed and admired. We do this for our animals, I ask why we don’t do this for each other?

Where does this leave girls like my friends and myself? Well, If I leave it up to Google, I may find an answer, but then I’m not sure I have the time to read 3 million results on “making dating work” For me I have risen my white flag and surrender to the dating world. I’m going with the saying. “If you love something let it go free. If it doesn’t come back, you never had it. If it does come back, love it forever.”

I will entertain myself in other areas in my life, career, biking, friendships with family and friends, and maybe one day I’ll wake up pleasantly surprised. I

What I can say is I’m so happy to have lifted the weight of all this dating off of my shoulders, I can now look back and laugh, chuckle a bit, how silly it was for me to put all my attention into this area of my life. Such a freeing moment  that I have experienced this last week, when I said okay, let it be and all is good. It’s like that moment of relief when you are on you bike racing and you know you are being chased, you look back and you see the other racers, so you keep pedaling as fast as you can, you take one more look back, hoping that no one is behind you and HOLY COW, you are free, you’re alone and its all you to the finish line!

This is my last blog on dating, I have a strong sense my life is going to turn much busier, all for the better and I’ll look back on this one day and read it, and smile.

A song of COURSE! It's Friday and we are dancing/riding/running! MUCH LOVE TO ALL MY READERS

Cheers to a new life!

Wednesday, December 5th my beautiful sister, gave birth to her 3rd child. A gift that was unexpected, but definitely welcome and one for our family to rejoice about. I’d like to introduce the world to my nephew Jacob William Preussner.  He was 7lbs and 20 inches long.

This week’s blog is in honor of my wonderful sister and her new-born child. I am very grateful to be part of something so beautiful and to be a part my sister’s life! I look forward to sharing many memories with her family and their newest addition.

Have a fabulous weekend and let it SNOW!!!