How come every time the holidays come upon us, we start to feel like we’re playing catch up? At first it was Monday and now it’s Thursday. I’m definitely not complaining, cause Friday is finally here. But, when I started to think as to what I was going to write about this week, nothing was striking or interesting to me or came to me that seemed worthy of writing about.
This is a work in progress for me, this blog and all, so I came to terms long ago that I might not have anything to write. I didn’t have anything for this week, until I remember the highlight in my week, it was with my meeting with Leianne. My focus is on my career right now and we discussed this part of my life. In so many ways, my life has changed, awakened and taken shape. I have a gift, a gift that I learned about this week. I guess when you have a gift, but don’t know how to utilize that gift, you forget what it is you have to give.
Here is what I learned about me: I want to be part of something bigger than myself and my life. When people focus on coming together for a common cause, or giving aid to another, it feeds the desires deep within to be connected to more than just our own lives. You experience your own value when you give yourself and contribute to another the most valuable thing you have to give; you. When you add your value to someone or something you breed positive feelings and energy. Focus on who, what and how you may contribute to the greater good. Doing so will help open up ways in which your wish may manifest!
Yes, this is that gift in life that tugs on my heart daily. I wish I can say I have figured it all out, I haven’t gotten to that point yet, soon though soon.
I’ve decided to keep this weeks blog short again, and unless something substantial happens, I have a feeling the remainder of this year blogs will be short. In other words, I’m closing out this ever-changing year of 2012 and keeping the eyes on the prize for 2013!
Have a beautiful weekend and enjoy this song, from my family in different places, they know who they are.
Hell this band has some great tunes! If you haven’t downloaded their stuff. DO SO NOW!
I swore to myself that I would keep this week’s writing down to the bare minimum due to the holiday. So, as I try to hold true to myself and my agreement, I must touch on 3 topics that ring true to my heart.
I start with my mother, a woman that has experienced life so much differently than most mothers out there. (the mothers whom I call All American Mothers). My mother is a Harley Davidson Badass Diva. She traded in pantyhoses and dresses, for blue jeans, leather, tattoos and bikes. Yes, a wild child of sorts, but a person who has overcome many hurdles in her life to make her what she is today. She is a very modest person who doesn’t require fancy cars, homes or expensive belongings. She doesn’t judge, she always says hi, and well, she took awesome care of Frosty, when I was out playing. MY MOTHER who with the hardships that she experienced in her life, was blessed to have 6 beautiful children, 3 of which are playing in the afterlife. Life for her has been challenge, but with many blessings of which I am glad to say at the end of the day, that she is my mother.
I remember being a little girl and my mom always made our birthday cakes from scratch. I would always look forward to getting my birthday cake. My name written on the frosting and she always put little decorations on the frostings like flowers or anything girly. Another fond memory I have of my mother is her making my outfits for figure skating and we always had a homemade meal for dinner. Mother I still hate tuna fish casserole, just wanted to make sure you remembered :)
Our mother never once tried to control or rule our lives. She has stood by us through every decision we have made with open arms. She never told me, well not until afterwards, that she didn’t like the guy I was dating. Let’s just say, she never meddles into my business. She has been at the finish line when I ran my first half-marathon, finished a 100 mile road ride, and was there for me when I was competing for competitions as a skater. She never made you feel bad for a dumb mistake and believe me, we have made some dumb mistakes, instead she stood there and said, I love you and I am hear to listen to you. Regardless, wherever or whenever, she did what she could to be there for her children.
I am thankful for for my mother who has been there for me and made me into the women I am today. I learned to be a strong women, to push ahead no matter what challenges I may face. I remembered this lesson at this time in my life, when on Thanksgiving I will be working and my mother will be cooking dinner for her children and waiting for them all to come home to spend this day of thanks with her.
Which brings me to turkey’s, some of us will be relaxing, enjoying laughter, food, friends and family on this day and weekend of thanks. We all join around the table to feast on the bird, the symbol of American Thanksgiving. Even if you choose something besides turkey, this day brings family and friends together to share our gratitude with one another.
I wish everyone a special day of joy with those who you are close with and love. We must remember the time we share with the people in our lives is short and priceless. My moment of priceless of course is with my family, but no Thanksgiving day or weekend would be complete without a few days of riding!
Yes, I am ever so grateful to be able to get on my mountain bike this weekend and with a blissful smile on my face for being able to ride and enjoy the most wonderful place on earth!
Since the holidays are here, I want to share with you all an favorite clip from a movie I enjoy. It’s quite silly, but it always makes me laugh, especially this time of the year.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving day and weekend, and happy trails to you all. No Thanksgiving would be complete without a song! There is no rhyme to reason for this song. Just a song that I have been listening to a lot this week! No video just music. Enjoy!
Wait.......give it a second........turn it up! LOTS OF BASS!
Disclaimer: The video's I attached are for entertainment value only! If you put into a search engine like Google, Yahoo or Safari, pretty much any search engine on dating and relationships, I will guarantee you will find about 167,000,000, results if not more. That is a lot of dating advice and can make my head spin if I actually started clicking on those links. If I leave it up to the numbers, I’d better get working on more dates. I'm a pretty driven person and die-hard optimist, so I choose to stay on the positive side, and like to believe there is a silver-lining to all of this mumbo, dating, jumbo of mine.
Date 5. This was another online meeting. After our series of dates, and remembering his online profile, I was struck by the mannerism of what he wrote. I think he should have written his header as: I might have time to date, BUT only if my schedule allows.
I gave date 5 a green light which evolved into 4 dates total. We went from green light, to yellow light to that damn red light very quickly. So on with the dates I go.
Another glimpse into my small world, date 5 and I shared some mutual friends, and of course we shared the same interest with one another.
First meeting was dinner/drinks, the evening was great and we both had a fun time. There was chemistry between us and we were able to carry on good conversation with each other. The date was so good, I even went against my first date rule, which is no kissing on the first date. DANG IT!
We stayed in contact for the next couple of days, while he was preparing for a race weekend and I had plans to spend some time with a girlfriend. Now, for those who know me, I am very kind, accommodating, and always willing to go the extra mile. So, when the opportunity arise, I offered to bring dinner to him after he completed a race he was doing that day. This was technically our second date, I made soup and brought it over to him, after eating dinner, we hung out for the rest of the evening. We already made plans to see each other the next day, as I was to accompany him to his next race.
When I think about it, we had only few hours to really be with each other before the day was consumed with race and hundreds of people around us. I’m fine with this, I’ve done my fair share of races and know what it takes to get prepared for one. We parted ways that evening, but no real plans as to when we would catch up again.
The dynamics of date 5 was different than any man I had ever dated before, he had previously been married and had 3 children. For me to consider dating someone with children, well it was definitely a new experience for me, but something I considered giving a try. As quick as the sparks flew, was as quick as the sparks died. This guy is great I am sure of it, he has a lot to offer some great girl out there, but let’s be honest here, how can you date a person when the attitude is “I’ll see you when I see you”, I mean really, I rather the guy just say, “hey, I’m just not that into you”. I can deal with honesty, but wishy washy, I have zero tolerance for this and I find it quite shocking for someone who is raising children, to not really know what he wants. Now, I will go as far a saying, there wasn’t a connection or he has other agendas? But, like I said before, honestly goes a far distance with me and especially at the fine age of 38. Yes, I have considered that maybe he did know what he wanted, but it became clear, that my wants and needs were different from his and vice-versa.
After our last meeting/date, hell whatever you want to call it, we agreed being friends was probably better route, I mean, I guess I was asking for too much when it came to simple communication. Once again, my sister had to ask me if I read the book “He just not that into you”, I laughed when she asked me this, yes, I have read it, highlighted it, slept with it, stomped on it, ran it over with my bike tires. Yep, I get it. I’m a smart girl and I don’t need reasons from a guy to validate why or why not he may like me. It’s simple, yes or no. Once again, bright red light makes its appearance.
Date 6, ahh yes another online meeting. So Date 6, There is not much to say about date 6, met for drinks, he seemed very nice, but I wasn’t engaged, he felt more like another guy who could be a good friend. But, maybe it was my “I could really careless attitude at this point”, well probably is more like it, and so red light, yellow light, green light??? It was time to take a break from all this dating.
At this fine point of dating, I was ready to turn my vodka and chaka khan on. Sadly, I couldn't find the entire video clip from this movie, but most definitely funny
Reset, review and focus.
I wished I could say that I have great dating advice for the single people out there looking, but I don’t really have anything impressive to offer you or at least something that most of us haven’t already heard of. If I have one key of advice to give on the aspect of dating , it is remember to have fun, be you and love each moment with the people whom’s paths you cross. You never know when you or them will leave a footprint on the world you walk.
Watch clip----------->
Yes, I remind myself that fun, laughter, and just being yourself is what dating should be all about.
As I come to a close on my blogs of dating, I can’t ignore the silver-lining in all of this. For me after writing and reading about my own experiences, I realized the one date I thoroughly enjoyed, the one person where I felt I could be myself completely, was all the way back to date 1. Realizing the person whom I longed for, the person who knows me and all parts of me, the person that brought me two corn on the cobs on his last visit, the person that woke up early on a Sunday morning to tell me to have fun at my first cyclo-cross race and was looking forward to my call to hear about it, the person that always has a smile on his face when he calls, the person that listened to me cry when Frosty died, the person who always makes sure my world is going good......that person being, oh yes, DATE 1.
Yes, he knows now, I have told him, 4 months of building a friendship has been the ultimate gift any one person could ask for. I’m not sure if he will have me, or even if he wants me, or what direction this journey will take me. But, I will be happy regardless. He has truly been the most wonderful, caring, genuine and supportive person I have ever met. His friendship has left an footprint on my life, AND one that will not be forgotten.
This song is to you KCB (Oh yes, I used KCB). Thank you, my deepest gratitude to you!
Every week I try to write about the most important aspects of my life, in many ways it is my way of giving back to people. So, when picking a topic becomes a challenge, you have to open up your mind in order to pick something interesting.
This week’s topic, seemed fitting when I was talking with two good friends online about my dating life. One of those friends said to me, “you should write about it in detail, for your blog”. AHHH YES! PERFECT! This is going to be fun. I pinged all my girlfriends on their dating rules and experiences to keep the ideas flowing. I have to say, I’m a pretty lucky lady, I have the most beautiful girlfriends any girl could ask for. Some of us single, married, currently involved in a relationship. I knew once I got them to send me their thoughts and experiences, that this would be nothing but GREAT!
Dating, Ahhh or Ugh, or dating sucks, or whatever emotion you may have associated to the term “DATING” you do indeed have one. Good, bad, funny, or the one that leaves you with, WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED feeling, we all have been there at one point in our lives. For the single ladies, we all have read the book “He is not that into you”, by Greg Behrendt (AND), Liz Tuccillo, I own this book, yep, its a good reminder to self. A refresher course. For the guys, there is the book Date Like a Man, by Myreah Moore, Jodie Gould. Can’t say I have read this one yet.
So, before you start to read, grab a drink, water, wine, beer, coffee, tea, and maybe some popcorn, or a chocolate Honey Stinger waffle, because what you are about to read will absolutely need one of all of the above. Yes, I will say it, yes, you will look over and ask, “Did, she really say that? And my answer to you all is HELLZ YEAH I DID!
If you are a repeat visitor to my blog, then you know I touched on the topic of dating a few blogs ago. I mentioned online dating and the dilemma I went through to determine if that was the best route for me. Well, I haven’t reached the finished line yet, not sure when that may come, but yes, to answer everyone’s question, I threw myself back into the world of online dating. This is my story, my story of each person who I have dated in the last 4 months, well technically 5 months.
Do you have your beer, wine, water, soda, coffee or tea?
Here we go!
This is the newest Sex in the City, but in the mountains of Colorado, where pot is now legal and one more hurdle for the single women to overcome.
Now, my world is a small community, a community of avid cyclists, mountain bikers, skiers, snowboarders, runners, well you get the idea. Small, but we all share the same passion for life. Activity, fitness, health, pushing ourselves to be better, stronger! Which now brings me to dating as an active women in Colorado. Now, to respect all the male parties out there, I will not use their names, instead, I will attach them with colors. RED, YELLOW and GREEN. You’ll see why later.
We have spirit, yes we do, and that spirit is MATCH.COM or FITNESS-SINGLES.COM, yep I am a member, I’ve done it, explored it and experienced it!
May I bring you back to July of 2012. I was on an self high at this time, coming out of a relationship a few months back, I was finally back onto the track of feeling good and being happy. My happiness consist of weekend trips with close friends, pedaling our bikes into whatever terrain we could find or for me exploring new big adventures. In all sense, I was in me LA-LA Land, for some maybe self-absorb, which is fair, I’ll go along with that, but really focusing on myself and my world.
After returning from a bike trip in Salida, Colorado, of which I decided to demo a 29er bike, I had made a trip back to a local bike shop in Golden to return that bike. Now, remember, I could careless about men at this point, I was thinking, bike, bike and bike. So, as I’m in the shop, getting another demo bike to try out, there is this guy, standing right next to me, YEAH I didn’t even notice until he actually spoke to me. So, what do you ride now, he currently ask. I ride a BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, I say, still, in LA LA Land, we start talking, I’m doing my thing, and gather the bike up and back to work I go. Not for one moment, did I think, the guy in the store was checking me out or interested in me. NOPE, I was singing along in LA LA LAND. Sing with me.....LA LA LA....
I’m outside putting the bike on my car, when I am approached by said guy, we joke about this now, but I swear, he said my name, he said he didn’t. It doesn’t matter, he caught my attention, he asked if he could join me for a ride, I said yes, a local group is riding tomorrow as a matter of fact, come at this time, it will be great! We exchanged some other conversation, but in all essence, this was me being who I am, friendly and inviting to any other mountain biker.
Date 1 begins....I give date 1 a green light. Date 1, never made it to the mountain bike ride, but, we did go on a date that week. We seem to have great dialogue up until the date and definitely during the date, my small world became even smaller, when we found out that we had mutual friends. We rode together that week (yep, he wore a kit, so I was totally checking him out), had dinner, beers and yes I was excited. There was potential in this one. The downside, he lives 600 miles away, see he was only visiting and was headed back home that weekend. ARG!
We have remained friends, we have spoken for hours on the phone, text messages, emails, he has become a dear friend, I can honestly say, he knows everything about me, the good, bad, pretty, ugly and still thinks I’m pretty damn amazing. He is a great kisser, attractive, OKAY VERY NICE BODY, super active, actually races (which, I have a thing for), has a peanut allergy, but I can let that slide, just remember don’t try to kill date later on when making him a meal. He is kind, humble, genuine, funny (HE ALWAYS MAKES ME LAUGH) and pretty freakin amazing in my book. But, being adults we respect the situation and the distance between us and will remain friends at this point. So, remember green light!
Date 2, this was another random chance encounter, I happened to have gone out with a girlfriend for drinks. Now, in my very logical mind, I know the chances of meeting Mr. Right at a bar are slim, and hell I am there to hang with my girlfriend or friends so having any set idea on meeting someone, well, lets say I am realistic. I had to use the restroom and once I came back, there were two men sitting at our table with my friend. No, biggie, the place was getting full. I sit down and my friend introduces the two guys to me like they had been friends forever. I say my hello’s and the conversations start to flow. The guy next to me, seemed interesting, he was smart, owned his own business in Colorado, fit, just finished a triathlon, great we have something to talk about. We were sharing pictures from our phones of all the adventures we had experience and of course my famous feet pictures of me at a beautiful lake. Well, it just happens to be that he owns a foot shoe company in Colorado, yes, he asked if I would send him a picture of my feet. RED FLAG? Maybe?
The night was getting late and girlfriend and I parted our ways with the two gentleman. Yes, he had my number. Which brings me to date 2.
He asked me if I would like to do a late dinner, a couple of days later. I said yes. We had dinner, conversation was fair, I say fair, because it was quite apparent that he was scaling me up/down for wife material. The questions were endless, but not questions about me, but questions about, if you had to choose between a Canadian, French or American man, who would you choose and why? STRANGE I SAY. STRANGE. Towards the end of the date, he challenged me to name a the song that was playing, now I know my music, but of course, the song, a SONG, by the way that I never heard of was playing. It was from the 70’s, so you would think I would know, but sadly I didn’t. So, he said, you have to make me dinner, if you can’t name this song, DEAL, and if I do know it, than you have to make me dinner. COOL. I loss, no biggie, you’ll get your dinner. He drove me home and the end of the date was quite awkward to say the least. So, we parted ways.
I heard from date 2, two days later, through a text message. He joked with me that I needed to brush up on my musical trivia. I said he got lucky, than this is when it all turned for the worse. He went on to tell me where luck lies and blah, blah, blah. I figured out that date 2, was a RED LIGHT! We were only going to kill each other at the end, he wasn’t respectful, but challenging. ARROGANT was what I believe I called him. Yes, I called him ARROGANT. If you like me, you don’t have to one-up me, especially, when I have only known you for 4 days! Now, I understand he thought he was being cute, and funny, but when I asked him, “You think you’re cute, don’t you?” He said, well yes, I did make myself laugh”. Okay fair enough, but it was the next string of text messages, where the red light starting blazing for me. I asked him, “you’re not one of those arrogant types are you”? Ballsy for me, okay, yes, but I wasn’t getting a good vibe, so my inner devil sensor went on. His reply deserved no response back from me. He said, “if you are looking for a mild, meek guy, I can forward their information onto you, I know plenty of those guys!” GOOD-BYE RED LIGHT! You obviously missed the class of being just plain respectful!
Date 3. RED LIGHT Date 3 was my first date from the online dating pool. We met at a local brewery, right way, I thought, is it this place or does he smell like alcohol? Maybe he had a beer, before I arrived? Hmm, let’s go on with the date, date 3 was different, there was no attraction or chemistry if you will, but common interest, so I am all willing to give this a shot, remember, I have nothing to lose and attraction can build later. Drink two arrived and by this time once again, oh you know my good friend so and so, oh you dated a mutual friend of ours? It’s common in our world, so no biggie. What was the deal breaker for me? I am no expert on alcoholism but, there was an issue, my gut was saying no, no, no. RED LIGHT, RED LIGHT. It was a work night and hell, two beers and I’m ready for bed, he wanted to carry on with more drinks. I kindly told him, I need to head home and he walked me to my car.
Come to find out, yes another girlfriend had went on a few dates with him. It seemed to be okay for him to have a bottle by his side first thing in the morning. I thought we were weaned off of our bottles at the age of 2? He contacted me after our first date, but I was still running to the hills and yep, I’m still running! RED LIGHT IS STILL ON! Do you see it flashing on Lookout mountain? Yep, that’s me.
Date 4. Date 4, another online date, we met at a local restaurant. This guy was tall, thin, good looking, smart, active and seemed to be quite normal. We sat and had dinner/drinks and the conversation was good. He walked me to my car, good props there. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this particular guy, so we proceeded with date 2. Hey, that is a good start right? We met again, dinner/drinks, we were talking and he was going on about a ski condo that he has over the winter and how he really didn’t care for one of the guys staying there. I’m listening to him talk about this situation, how this fellow housemate came in one night, while my date was watching tv. The housemate changed the channel and my date didn’t think that was very funny. I don’t blame him, its rude, so I am still listening to the conversation, but at one point during the conversation, I see myself in that movie “THE BREAKUP” yes, with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, I’ve inserted the part of the movie where I could see myself saying this to my date down the road. ------> watch clip
Now, I get it was just one conversation, but also during our evening discussions, he proceeded to tell me that he didn't think anything was wrong with him. Ah come on dude, everybody has some kind of quirk about themselves. I have many, and I'm cool with my quirks and flaws. My gut, was starting to call me Jennifer for some reason, was this the RED LIGHT? He walked me to the car again that night, I could tell he wanted to swing in for a good-night kiss, but all I keep playing in my head, was that clip from the movie. RED LIGHT, RED LIGHT, RED LIGHT. I’m starting to not like you RED LIGHT! Go away RED LIGHT!
Now, this blog has become so long, that I find it necessary to break it up into parts. I will share more of my dates, but those will come next week. Before I end for the week, I do want to share with you some dating rules, these are not my rules, but a collaboration of rules from some of the most amazing women I know in Colorado, athletes, moms-to-be, women who I respect on so many different levels and some of the fastest chics I know on bikes.
This is a teaser, more to come.
From the active women of Colorado: Dating Tips
1. Observe how your date treats the wait staff, or the hot chick who is sitting behind you. It’s usually a pretty good sign on how he will treat you.
2. If you go on a first date and there is no chemistry, don't rule the guy out. Sometimes chemistry builds.
3. Watch how a man treats his mother. I guarantee that is how you will be treated some day.
4. The best thing about online dating is that the goods are ever-changing! But, be ready for some work too.
5. Go out and love doing what you love....it's an attractive energy that's hard to resist.
6. Be brave enough to be vulnerable.
7. Living in Colorado brings many competitive women, being cool with her beating you at something well, he just might be a keeper.
8. The 3 "c's" of a successful relationship: Communication, Courtesy and Common Sense. Words to live by. I do have more to share, and honestly this has been fun, because really that is what dating should be....... is fun!
Look for part 2 new week. I close with my weekly song. This song is described by Canadian writer Sean Michaels as "The electric heartbeat, the synth sizzle, the trilling bloom of the steel drums: It's like the weird & technicolour conversation between two hearts."
When thinking about a topic of writing this week, I must say it has been a bit of a struggle. Life changes has been a going on for me and time has been filled with planning and well, trying to squeeze in a cyclo-cross race for the first time ever. So, I have decided that this is my topic of conversation for this week.
I had an opportunity to watch a cyclo-cross race a few weeks ago. I watched in ahh as these racers flew by in circles through obstacles, running up stairs all a while jumping off and on their bikes. I’m a seasoned mountain biker, but this was definitely something I haven’t experienced before.
The pumping of your blood, of which brings, the taste of pure adrenaline to your tongue, is what carried me through this race. No, I wasn’t fast in the world of racing with these elite riders, but I was April fast (yes, still figuring out what that means), I felt every muscle ache while trying to remember that I needed to pick up my bike as I ran up two stairways and sand. And did somebody tell me this would only last 40 minutes? Okay, yes, 40 minutes of grueling, in the throat, excitement was long enough for me. Did I enjoy it? YES, definitely YES! Will I do it again? Yes, but for the next few weekends I will be taking on a new endeavor. So, I will be looking forward to that start-up line again......
Until then I continually find ways to be humbled by life.
I thought it was fitting to share this video so those of you who wonder what cyclocross is, this is the course I raced. These girls ROCK!
