Every week I try to write about the most important aspects of my life, in many ways it is my way of giving back to people. So, when picking a topic becomes a challenge, you have to open up your mind in order to pick something interesting.
This week’s topic, seemed fitting when I was talking with two good friends online about my dating life. One of those friends said to me, “you should write about it in detail, for your blog”. AHHH YES! PERFECT! This is going to be fun. I pinged all my girlfriends on their dating rules and experiences to keep the ideas flowing. I have to say, I’m a pretty lucky lady, I have the most beautiful girlfriends any girl could ask for. Some of us single, married, currently involved in a relationship. I knew once I got them to send me their thoughts and experiences, that this would be nothing but GREAT!
Dating, Ahhh or Ugh, or dating sucks, or whatever emotion you may have associated to the term “DATING” you do indeed have one. Good, bad, funny, or the one that leaves you with, WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED feeling, we all have been there at one point in our lives. For the single ladies, we all have read the book “He is not that into you”, by Greg Behrendt (AND), Liz Tuccillo, I own this book, yep, its a good reminder to self. A refresher course. For the guys, there is the book Date Like a Man, by Myreah Moore, Jodie Gould. Can’t say I have read this one yet.
So, before you start to read, grab a drink, water, wine, beer, coffee, tea, and maybe some popcorn, or a chocolate Honey Stinger waffle, because what you are about to read will absolutely need one of all of the above. Yes, I will say it, yes, you will look over and ask, “Did, she really say that? And my answer to you all is HELLZ YEAH I DID!
If you are a repeat visitor to my blog, then you know I touched on the topic of dating a few blogs ago. I mentioned online dating and the dilemma I went through to determine if that was the best route for me. Well, I haven’t reached the finished line yet, not sure when that may come, but yes, to answer everyone’s question, I threw myself back into the world of online dating. This is my story, my story of each person who I have dated in the last 4 months, well technically 5 months.
Do you have your beer, wine, water, soda, coffee or tea?
Here we go!
This is the newest Sex in the City, but in the mountains of Colorado, where pot is now legal and one more hurdle for the single women to overcome.
Now, my world is a small community, a community of avid cyclists, mountain bikers, skiers, snowboarders, runners, well you get the idea. Small, but we all share the same passion for life. Activity, fitness, health, pushing ourselves to be better, stronger! Which now brings me to dating as an active women in Colorado. Now, to respect all the male parties out there, I will not use their names, instead, I will attach them with colors. RED, YELLOW and GREEN. You’ll see why later.
We have spirit, yes we do, and that spirit is MATCH.COM or FITNESS-SINGLES.COM, yep I am a member, I’ve done it, explored it and experienced it!
May I bring you back to July of 2012. I was on an self high at this time, coming out of a relationship a few months back, I was finally back onto the track of feeling good and being happy. My happiness consist of weekend trips with close friends, pedaling our bikes into whatever terrain we could find or for me exploring new big adventures. In all sense, I was in me LA-LA Land, for some maybe self-absorb, which is fair, I’ll go along with that, but really focusing on myself and my world.
After returning from a bike trip in Salida, Colorado, of which I decided to demo a 29er bike, I had made a trip back to a local bike shop in Golden to return that bike. Now, remember, I could careless about men at this point, I was thinking, bike, bike and bike. So, as I’m in the shop, getting another demo bike to try out, there is this guy, standing right next to me, YEAH I didn’t even notice until he actually spoke to me. So, what do you ride now, he currently ask. I ride a BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, I say, still, in LA LA Land, we start talking, I’m doing my thing, and gather the bike up and back to work I go. Not for one moment, did I think, the guy in the store was checking me out or interested in me. NOPE, I was singing along in LA LA LAND. Sing with me.....LA LA LA....
I’m outside putting the bike on my car, when I am approached by said guy, we joke about this now, but I swear, he said my name, he said he didn’t. It doesn’t matter, he caught my attention, he asked if he could join me for a ride, I said yes, a local group is riding tomorrow as a matter of fact, come at this time, it will be great! We exchanged some other conversation, but in all essence, this was me being who I am, friendly and inviting to any other mountain biker.
Date 1 begins....I give date 1 a green light. Date 1, never made it to the mountain bike ride, but, we did go on a date that week. We seem to have great dialogue up until the date and definitely during the date, my small world became even smaller, when we found out that we had mutual friends. We rode together that week (yep, he wore a kit, so I was totally checking him out), had dinner, beers and yes I was excited. There was potential in this one. The downside, he lives 600 miles away, see he was only visiting and was headed back home that weekend. ARG!
We have remained friends, we have spoken for hours on the phone, text messages, emails, he has become a dear friend, I can honestly say, he knows everything about me, the good, bad, pretty, ugly and still thinks I’m pretty damn amazing. He is a great kisser, attractive, OKAY VERY NICE BODY, super active, actually races (which, I have a thing for), has a peanut allergy, but I can let that slide, just remember don’t try to kill date later on when making him a meal. He is kind, humble, genuine, funny (HE ALWAYS MAKES ME LAUGH) and pretty freakin amazing in my book. But, being adults we respect the situation and the distance between us and will remain friends at this point. So, remember green light!
Date 2, this was another random chance encounter, I happened to have gone out with a girlfriend for drinks. Now, in my very logical mind, I know the chances of meeting Mr. Right at a bar are slim, and hell I am there to hang with my girlfriend or friends so having any set idea on meeting someone, well, lets say I am realistic. I had to use the restroom and once I came back, there were two men sitting at our table with my friend. No, biggie, the place was getting full. I sit down and my friend introduces the two guys to me like they had been friends forever. I say my hello’s and the conversations start to flow. The guy next to me, seemed interesting, he was smart, owned his own business in Colorado, fit, just finished a triathlon, great we have something to talk about. We were sharing pictures from our phones of all the adventures we had experience and of course my famous feet pictures of me at a beautiful lake. Well, it just happens to be that he owns a foot shoe company in Colorado, yes, he asked if I would send him a picture of my feet. RED FLAG? Maybe?
The night was getting late and girlfriend and I parted our ways with the two gentleman. Yes, he had my number. Which brings me to date 2.
He asked me if I would like to do a late dinner, a couple of days later. I said yes. We had dinner, conversation was fair, I say fair, because it was quite apparent that he was scaling me up/down for wife material. The questions were endless, but not questions about me, but questions about, if you had to choose between a Canadian, French or American man, who would you choose and why? STRANGE I SAY. STRANGE. Towards the end of the date, he challenged me to name a the song that was playing, now I know my music, but of course, the song, a SONG, by the way that I never heard of was playing. It was from the 70’s, so you would think I would know, but sadly I didn’t. So, he said, you have to make me dinner, if you can’t name this song, DEAL, and if I do know it, than you have to make me dinner. COOL. I loss, no biggie, you’ll get your dinner. He drove me home and the end of the date was quite awkward to say the least. So, we parted ways.
I heard from date 2, two days later, through a text message. He joked with me that I needed to brush up on my musical trivia. I said he got lucky, than this is when it all turned for the worse. He went on to tell me where luck lies and blah, blah, blah. I figured out that date 2, was a RED LIGHT! We were only going to kill each other at the end, he wasn’t respectful, but challenging. ARROGANT was what I believe I called him. Yes, I called him ARROGANT. If you like me, you don’t have to one-up me, especially, when I have only known you for 4 days! Now, I understand he thought he was being cute, and funny, but when I asked him, “You think you’re cute, don’t you?” He said, well yes, I did make myself laugh”. Okay fair enough, but it was the next string of text messages, where the red light starting blazing for me. I asked him, “you’re not one of those arrogant types are you”? Ballsy for me, okay, yes, but I wasn’t getting a good vibe, so my inner devil sensor went on. His reply deserved no response back from me. He said, “if you are looking for a mild, meek guy, I can forward their information onto you, I know plenty of those guys!” GOOD-BYE RED LIGHT! You obviously missed the class of being just plain respectful!
Date 3. RED LIGHT
Date 3 was my first date from the online dating pool. We met at a local brewery, right way, I thought, is it this place or does he smell like alcohol? Maybe he had a beer, before I arrived? Hmm, let’s go on with the date, date 3 was different, there was no attraction or chemistry if you will, but common interest, so I am all willing to give this a shot, remember, I have nothing to lose and attraction can build later. Drink two arrived and by this time once again, oh you know my good friend so and so, oh you dated a mutual friend of ours? It’s common in our world, so no biggie. What was the deal breaker for me? I am no expert on alcoholism but, there was an issue, my gut was saying no, no, no. RED LIGHT, RED LIGHT. It was a work night and hell, two beers and I’m ready for bed, he wanted to carry on with more drinks. I kindly told him, I need to head home and he walked me to my car.
Come to find out, yes another girlfriend had went on a few dates with him. It seemed to be okay for him to have a bottle by his side first thing in the morning. I thought we were weaned off of our bottles at the age of 2? He contacted me after our first date, but I was still running to the hills and yep, I’m still running! RED LIGHT IS STILL ON! Do you see it flashing on Lookout mountain? Yep, that’s me.
Date 4.
Date 4, another online date, we met at a local restaurant. This guy was tall, thin, good looking, smart, active and seemed to be quite normal. We sat and had dinner/drinks and the conversation was good. He walked me to my car, good props there.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about this particular guy, so we proceeded with date 2. Hey, that is a good start right? We met again, dinner/drinks, we were talking and he was going on about a ski condo that he has over the winter and how he really didn’t care for one of the guys staying there. I’m listening to him talk about this situation, how this fellow housemate came in one night, while my date was watching tv. The housemate changed the channel and my date didn’t think that was very funny. I don’t blame him, its rude, so I am still listening to the conversation, but at one point during the conversation, I see myself in that movie “THE BREAKUP” yes, with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, I’ve inserted the part of the movie where I could see myself saying this to my date down the road. ------> watch clip
He walked me to the car again that night, I could tell he wanted to swing in for a good-night kiss, but all I keep playing in my head, was that clip from the movie. RED LIGHT, RED LIGHT, RED LIGHT. I’m starting to not like you RED LIGHT! Go away RED LIGHT!
Now, this blog has become so long, that I find it necessary to break it up into parts. I will share more of my dates, but those will come next week. Before I end for the week, I do want to share with you some dating rules, these are not my rules, but a collaboration of rules from some of the most amazing women I know in Colorado, athletes, moms-to-be, women who I respect on so many different levels and some of the fastest chics I know on bikes.
This is a teaser, more to come.
From the active women of Colorado: Dating Tips
1. Observe how your date treats the wait staff, or the hot chick who is sitting behind you. It’s usually a pretty good sign on how he will treat you.
2. If you go on a first date and there is no chemistry, don't rule the guy out. Sometimes chemistry builds.
3. Watch how a man treats his mother. I guarantee that is how you will be treated some day.
4. The best thing about online dating is that the goods are ever-changing! But, be ready for some work too.
5. Go out and love doing what you love....it's an attractive energy that's hard to resist.
6. Be brave enough to be vulnerable.
7. Living in Colorado brings many competitive women, being cool with her beating you at something well, he just might be a keeper.
8. The 3 "c's" of a successful relationship: Communication, Courtesy and Common Sense. Words to live by.
I do have more to share, and honestly this has been fun, because really that is what dating should be....... is fun!
Look for part 2 new week.
I close with my weekly song. This song is described by Canadian writer Sean Michaels as "The electric heartbeat, the synth sizzle, the trilling bloom of the steel drums: It's like the weird & technicolour conversation between two hearts."
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