My Jibber

I started writing this a few weeks ago, I was going to post it before Christmas and then I opted out of posting it. I left what I wrote and came back to this and thought, yeah, this is part of my story. This is part of that journey I went through in 2012. I was not a big fan of 2012 at all! Nope,  but I will remember the good that came from that year, the experiences I felt and dealt with.

One of the highlights of 2012 was taking it upon myself for self improvement, self exploring in all senses. I really can say I have become a different person. Happier in so many ways, living life, feeling, and sensing each moment I am grateful to experience, so as I continue to write for this week’s blog here is my jibber.

I have to say I am exhausted and could use some real R&R. I pray that it’s coming! Between working full-time, my normal day job, working up at Loveland Ski resort, which is completely rewarding and I love and fully enjoy and then yes, another part time job in the evenings. Lack of sleep is something that is becoming my norm.
Why so many jobs? For those of you that don’t know, I took a demotion in October 2012, after finding out that I was actually going to be laid-off. I’ve been told so many different things, as for the reasoning. The reasoning doesn’t matter to me at this moment in my life, what I learned from that dreaded day in October was I’m keeping my own damn eggs for myself and not giving my power away to corporate America.

If you have read my blog, than this all makes sense now. I’ve been working for the same company over 5 years and when I found out that I was being let go, well saying my world came crashing down was putting it lightly. I worked, sweated, and gave everything I had to this company. I was sad to say the least, but....after feeling that bottom of the pit, I chose TO RISE ABOVE IT ALL!

This change allowed me to make some changes in my life, all for the better and gave me a brighter outlook on 2013. I am very hopeful that all my work over the last couple of months pays off. It’s no secret that my intention of staying where I currently am was not my goal. I feel I have completed what I was there for and the time to move forward. I have learned that being in a place of complantency is just not good enough for me. Nope, I want and desire more in my life and for that I will do more and be more. I am April and that is the one thing I know for sure. This girl is driven and fights to the death!

As the 2012 year wrapped up, I am happy to announce that I was selected to be on a race team for 2013 mountain season. I am super excited about racing for 2013, the past few years I have put many miles on my mountain bike and explored many new places and pushed myself beyond the limits on some of these rides. Now is the time to put all that work together and make it happen for my race season. I will train, train and train to make this happen. Also, just this week I accepted a new position with a software company that provides services to the State of Utah and their Attorneys for Electronic filing. The best part of this job is I will be working with a small fantastic group of men of whom I have developed a great professional relationship with. I am eager to finally put everything I have learned over the past 12 years in the legal profession and apply it to this new position. One of the perks is I get to work from home. I really wanted this and it has now become my reality. I am quite pleased to say the least. As for the other jobs, I had to make a hard decision to give up my position at Loveland, with mountain bike training and racing, I have to put my energies where they are needed. As for the other part-time job, I can do it whenever so, I will keep it for extra mountain biking money :) I need a new bike, shoes, helmet, camelbak, yeah baby, let’s go shopping.

Farewell 2012 and HELLO 2013. I am so happy to see you and what is all to come.

I apologize for not writing over the past few weeks, but now you can understand my reasoning.

Much love.....

I can’t tell you why exactly but I love this song. So here you go

Merry Christmas and many blessings!

I am taking the next two weeks off of writing and spending time with number one,  myself and all the people who mean the world to me, family and friends.

I am happy to say good bye to 2012 for many reasons, but at the same time happy to have the experiences I have traveled.

I wish all my readers much love, joy and peace! You all deserve the best this world has to give each one of you!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY 2013!!!

And a song to finish off the year!

Make it happen!

A night with my wonderful girlfriends always help spark good conversations for my blogs, so as we gathered to share our weekly events, work, dates and activities for the weekend, we once again opened pandora’s box of the dating world. My girlfriends asked me how dating was working out for me, I chuckled a bit and said, I have raised my white flag, surrender to the dating Gods and chosen to put my energy into other areas of my life (like racing my mountain bike). But, with great discussions comes great blogs. And here we find another blog on dating.

Make it happen is my new motto for men and dating. A simple request one may think, but not as simple as I am learning.

After spending a Friday evening having dinner and drinks with some girlfriends, we shared and compared more of our dating stories. My last meeting with a guy was a bike ride, lunch and then drinks a few nights later, after that, nothing, but long text messages of which I hate! I don’t want to talk to you through text message but rather, in person or on the phone. The phone WTH is that one may ask? Well, this amazing device, where you can hear tones, and get this, voices, you actually can hear someone’s voice. But, back to dinner and drinks with my girlfriends. After listening to my single girlfriends, it was simple, what our requests were. MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Just like anything else in life, it is or is not, right? Let’s break this down, for my active (sports) people, you’re either riding a bike or not? You’re either racing or not? It’s not like "hey look at me, I’m kinda riding my bike". Running, you’re either running or not running, okay maybe a run/walk, but whatever you are doing, you’re doing it or not right? I guess in many ways one can argue the actual facts of this, but that is not my goal of this blog. My goal is, to make it happen. Damn straight, I don’t do things half-fast, I’m all in or nothing, baby I’m in.

As much as I have a strong drive for life and love, I get you can’t rush love, you have to let it happen, it will happen when you least expect it and so on. I think I’ve heard this more than I ever recited the pledge of the allegiance in school. When sharing our stories, the topic of texting came up. Why text a woman the night of and ask her what her plans are that evening? I mean come on yes, we are adventurous and spontaneous but, really? Seriously, if you want to hang out, go to dinner, bike ride, drinks, MAKE IT HAPPEN! The part of us waiting around for you is likely not going to happen, we are busy women, in a busy world, we have lives and believe me, I’m not sitting on the couch waiting for your call, more than likely I am making plans with friends or wait maybe with another guy that wants my attention, like my BIKE!

I asked a good guy friend of mine on Sunday his thoughts on the situation, he is also single, being doing the dating thing, so maybe his perspective is not dead on, but what I did find interesting is what he said about texting and remember this came from a guy. Texting is non-committal, passive is exactly what he said. YUP, I think he was right. It’s an passive-aggressive behavior and I have seen this way too much recently. Have men lost their spontaneity, their drive to be make it work? Let me tell you, relationships take work, regardless if that is professional or personal. If you want someone’s attention than tell them, show them, JUST DO SOMETHING! Yes, you risk the chance of rejection, I get it, I mean ,I really get it MEN. I have been rejected more this year, than I can count in my entire adult life, but, I never would have been given those fine moments and opportunities if I didn’t act upon it. Love is a risk for all, and without risk life is not worth living in my opinion. Life is feeling, being and enduring what may be painful, but was so worth the pain and risk.

Technology has become the great communicator for relationships this day. But, it’s a sad world that we live in when a person uses text messages to express their true feelings, desires and needs. As I recall, we are still living creatures that yearn for more than a cold device to keep us company in the evenings. Hell, if you don’t think so, look around, do you have a dog, cat, bird, snake or fish? If you answered yes, then I have made my point. If you don’t have an animal, I’m sure there is good reason for it.  Regardless, if one wants to admit it to themselves, we all want love and we all want that moment of feeling needed and admired. We do this for our animals, I ask why we don’t do this for each other?

Where does this leave girls like my friends and myself? Well, If I leave it up to Google, I may find an answer, but then I’m not sure I have the time to read 3 million results on “making dating work” For me I have risen my white flag and surrender to the dating world. I’m going with the saying. “If you love something let it go free. If it doesn’t come back, you never had it. If it does come back, love it forever.”

I will entertain myself in other areas in my life, career, biking, friendships with family and friends, and maybe one day I’ll wake up pleasantly surprised. I

What I can say is I’m so happy to have lifted the weight of all this dating off of my shoulders, I can now look back and laugh, chuckle a bit, how silly it was for me to put all my attention into this area of my life. Such a freeing moment  that I have experienced this last week, when I said okay, let it be and all is good. It’s like that moment of relief when you are on you bike racing and you know you are being chased, you look back and you see the other racers, so you keep pedaling as fast as you can, you take one more look back, hoping that no one is behind you and HOLY COW, you are free, you’re alone and its all you to the finish line!

This is my last blog on dating, I have a strong sense my life is going to turn much busier, all for the better and I’ll look back on this one day and read it, and smile.

A song of COURSE! It's Friday and we are dancing/riding/running! MUCH LOVE TO ALL MY READERS

Cheers to a new life!

Wednesday, December 5th my beautiful sister, gave birth to her 3rd child. A gift that was unexpected, but definitely welcome and one for our family to rejoice about. I’d like to introduce the world to my nephew Jacob William Preussner.  He was 7lbs and 20 inches long.

This week’s blog is in honor of my wonderful sister and her new-born child. I am very grateful to be part of something so beautiful and to be a part my sister’s life! I look forward to sharing many memories with her family and their newest addition.

Have a fabulous weekend and let it SNOW!!!

I've paid my dues!

How come every time the holidays come upon us, we start to feel like we’re playing catch up? At first it was Monday and now it’s Thursday. I’m definitely not complaining, cause Friday is finally here. But, when I started to think as to what I was going to write about this week, nothing was striking or interesting to me or came to me that seemed worthy of writing about.

This is a work in progress for me, this blog and all, so I came to terms long ago that I might not have anything to write. I didn’t have anything for this week, until I remember the highlight in my week, it was with my meeting with Leianne. My focus is on my career right now and we discussed this part of my life. In so many ways, my life has changed, awakened and taken shape. I have a gift, a gift that I learned about this week. I guess when you have a gift, but don’t know how to utilize that gift, you forget what it is you have to give.

Here is what I learned about me: I want to be part of something bigger than myself and my life. When people focus on coming together for a common cause, or giving aid to another, it feeds the desires deep within to be connected to more than just our own lives. You experience your own value when you give yourself and contribute to another the most valuable thing you have to give; you. When you add your value to someone or something you breed positive feelings and energy. Focus on who, what and how you may contribute to the greater good. Doing so will help open up ways in which your wish may manifest!

Yes, this is that gift in life that tugs on my heart daily. I wish I can say I have figured it all out, I haven’t gotten to that point yet, soon though soon.  

I’ve decided to keep this weeks blog short again, and unless something substantial happens, I have a feeling the remainder of this year blogs will be short. In other words, I’m closing out this ever-changing year of 2012 and keeping the eyes on the prize for 2013!

Have a beautiful weekend and enjoy this song, from my family in different places, they know who they are.

Hell this band has some great tunes! If you haven’t downloaded their stuff. DO SO NOW!  

BONUS 

Mother's, turkey's and riding

I swore to myself that I would keep this week’s writing down to the bare minimum due to the holiday. So, as I try to hold true to myself  and my agreement, I must touch on 3 topics that ring true to my heart.  

I start with my mother, a woman that has experienced life so much differently than most mothers out there. (the mothers whom I call All American Mothers). My mother is a Harley Davidson Badass Diva. She traded in pantyhoses and dresses, for blue jeans, leather, tattoos and bikes. Yes, a wild child of sorts, but a person who has overcome many hurdles in her life to make her what she is today. She is a very modest person who doesn’t require fancy cars, homes or expensive belongings. She doesn’t judge, she always says hi, and well, she took awesome care of Frosty, when I was out playing. MY MOTHER who with the hardships that she experienced in her life, was blessed to have 6 beautiful children, 3 of which are playing in the afterlife. Life for her has been challenge, but with many blessings of which I am glad to say at the end of the day, that she is my mother.

I remember being a little girl and my mom always made our birthday cakes from scratch. I would always look forward to getting my birthday cake. My name written on the frosting and she always put little decorations on the frostings like flowers or anything girly. Another fond memory I have of my mother is her making my outfits for figure skating and we always had a homemade meal for dinner. Mother I still hate tuna fish casserole, just wanted to make sure you remembered :)

Our mother never once tried to control or rule our lives. She has stood by us through every decision we have made with open arms. She never told me, well not until afterwards, that she didn’t like the guy I was dating. Let’s just say, she never meddles into my business. She has been at the finish line when I ran my first half-marathon, finished a 100 mile road ride, and was there for me when I was competing for competitions as a skater. She never made you feel bad for a dumb mistake and believe me, we have made some dumb mistakes, instead she stood there and said, I love you and I am hear to listen to you.  Regardless, wherever or whenever, she did what she could to be there for her children.

I am thankful for for my mother who has been there for me and made me into the women I am today. I learned to be a strong women, to push ahead no matter what challenges I may face.  I remembered this lesson at this time in my life, when on Thanksgiving I will be working and my mother will be cooking dinner for her children and waiting for them all to come home to spend this day of thanks with her.

Which brings me to turkey’s, some of us will be relaxing, enjoying laughter, food, friends and family on this day and weekend of thanks. We all join around the table to feast on the bird, the symbol of American Thanksgiving. Even if you choose something besides turkey, this day brings family and friends together to share our gratitude with one another.

I wish everyone a special day of joy with those who you are close with and love. We must remember the time we share with the people in our lives is short and priceless. My moment of priceless of course is with my family, but no Thanksgiving day or weekend would be complete without a few days of riding!

Yes, I am ever so grateful to be able to get on my mountain bike this weekend and with a blissful smile on my face for being able to ride and enjoy the most wonderful place on earth!

Since the holidays are here, I want to share with you all an favorite clip from a movie I enjoy. It’s quite silly, but it always makes me laugh, especially this time of the year.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving  day and weekend, and happy trails to you all. No Thanksgiving would be complete without a song! There is no rhyme to reason for this song. Just a song that I have been listening to a lot this week! No video just music. Enjoy!

Wait.......give it a second........turn it up! LOTS OF BASS!

Riding the dating trails-Part 2

Disclaimer: The video's I attached are for entertainment value only!

If you put into a search engine like Google, Yahoo or Safari, pretty much any search engine on dating and relationships, I will guarantee you will find about 167,000,000, results if not more. That is a lot of dating advice and can make my head spin if I actually started clicking on those links.

If I leave it up to the numbers, I’d better get working on more dates. I'm a pretty driven person and die-hard optimist, so I choose to stay on the positive side, and like to believe there is a silver-lining to all of this mumbo, dating, jumbo of mine.  


Date 5.
This was another online meeting. After our series of dates, and remembering his online profile, I was struck by the mannerism of what he wrote. I think he should have written his header as: I might have time to date, BUT only if my schedule allows.

I gave date 5 a green light which evolved into 4 dates total. We went from green light, to yellow light to that damn red light very quickly. So on with the dates I go.

Another glimpse into my small world,  date 5 and I shared some mutual friends, and of course we shared the same interest with one another.

First meeting was dinner/drinks, the evening was great and we both had a fun time. There was chemistry between us and we were able to carry on good conversation with each other. The date was so good, I even went against my first date rule, which is no kissing on the first date. DANG IT!

We stayed in contact for the next couple of days,  while he was preparing for a race weekend and I had plans to spend some time with a girlfriend. Now, for those who know me, I am very kind, accommodating, and always willing to go the extra mile. So, when the opportunity arise, I offered to bring dinner to him after he completed a race he was doing that day. This was technically our second date, I made soup and brought it over to him, after eating dinner, we hung out for the rest of the evening. We already made plans to see each other the next day, as I was to accompany him to his next race.

When I think about it, we had only few hours to really be with each other before the day was consumed with race and hundreds of people around us. I’m fine with this, I’ve done my fair share of races and know what it takes to get prepared for one. We parted ways that evening, but no real plans as to when we would catch up again.

The dynamics of date 5 was different than any man I had ever dated before, he had previously been married and had 3 children. For me to consider dating someone with children, well it was definitely a new experience for me, but something I considered giving a try. As quick as the sparks flew, was as quick as the sparks died. This guy is great I am sure of it, he has  a lot to offer some great girl out there, but let’s be honest here, how can you date a person when the attitude is “I’ll see you when I see you”, I mean really, I rather the guy just say, “hey, I’m just not that into you”. I can deal with honesty, but wishy washy, I have zero tolerance for this and I find it quite shocking for someone who is raising children, to not really know what he wants. Now, I will go as far a saying, there wasn’t a connection or he has other agendas?  But, like I said before, honestly goes a far distance with me and especially at the fine age of 38. Yes, I have considered that maybe he did know what he wanted, but it became clear, that my wants and needs were different from his and vice-versa.  

After our last meeting/date, hell whatever you want to call it, we agreed being friends was probably better route, I mean, I guess I was asking for too much when it came to simple communication. Once again, my sister had to ask me if I read the book “He just not that into you”, I laughed when she asked me this, yes, I have read it, highlighted it, slept with it, stomped on it, ran it over with my bike tires. Yep, I get it. I’m a smart girl and I don’t need reasons from a  guy to validate why or why not he may like me. It’s simple, yes or no. Once again, bright red light makes its appearance.

Date 6, ahh yes another online meeting.
So Date 6, There is not much to say about date 6, met for drinks, he seemed very nice, but I wasn’t engaged, he felt more like another guy who could be a good friend. But,  maybe it was my “I could really careless attitude at this point”, well probably is more like it, and so red light, yellow light, green light??? It was time to take a break from all this dating.

At this fine point of dating,  I was ready to turn my vodka and chaka khan on. 

Sadly, I couldn't find the entire video clip from this movie, but most definitely funny

Reset, review and focus.

I wished I could say that I have great dating advice for the single people out there looking, but I don’t really have anything impressive to offer you or at least something that most of us haven’t already heard of. If I have one key of advice to give on the aspect of dating , it is remember to have fun, be you and love each moment with the people whom’s paths you cross. You never know when you or them will leave a footprint on the world you walk.

Watch clip----------->

Yes, I remind myself that fun, laughter, and just being yourself is what dating should be all about.

As I come to a close on my blogs of dating, I can’t ignore the silver-lining in all of this. For me after writing and reading about my own experiences, I realized the one date I thoroughly enjoyed, the one person where I felt I could be myself completely, was all the way back to date 1. Realizing the person whom I longed for, the person who knows me and all parts of me, the person that brought me two corn on the cobs on his last visit, the person that woke up early on a Sunday morning to tell me to have fun at my first cyclo-cross race and was looking forward to my call to hear about it, the person that always has a smile on his face when he calls, the person that listened to me cry when Frosty died, the person who always makes sure my world is going good......that person being, oh yes, DATE 1.

Yes, he knows now, I have told him, 4 months of building a friendship has been the ultimate gift any one person could ask for. I’m not sure if he will have me, or even if he wants me, or what direction this journey will take me. But, I will be happy regardless. He has truly been the most wonderful, caring, genuine and supportive person I have ever met. His friendship has left an footprint on my life, AND one that will not be forgotten.  

This song is to you KCB (Oh yes, I used KCB). Thank you, my deepest gratitude to you!