The Big Shift

I can honesty say that I have experienced that big shift in my life. This shift hasn’t happened overnight, although I clearly would have liked to have fallen asleep and woke up the next morning and say “all done”. Realistically, I am still working my way through this shift.

My blog is about sharing my experience, sharing the struggles, the joy and the growth I have encountered. This all started for me in April of this year, but didn’t really kick me hard until May.
I wasn’t necessary at a dark place, but definitely a shift in my life that needed to be recognized and dealt with. In order to give this the due justice it deserves, I can only best explain it in stages.

I will not blame anyone or blame any one circumstance but, I definitely felt that I was let down by someone who I thought had my back, someone that didn’t stay true to their own word and for so many of my own reasons, I was crushed. As the famous saying goes “don’t put all your eggs into one basket”. I think it should say, “don’t put all your eggs into someone else’s basket”. Yes, I have done this time after time, I never put the faith into myself as I have for others. I can say, I am done doing that. It’s been about me and what April wants and needs for the past few months. But also, being aware, observing and processing all that goes on in my day to day activities. Actually listening to people and conversations has opened up a whole new world for me.

I started by reading Don Miguel Ruiz book “The Four Agreements” I heard it, but I didn’t process it, I had to read it again and again. Then I said, ‘If I’m really going to do this, I want to do it the right way”. The right way for me was using the tools and help of Leianne Wilson, she is a life-shaping coach. I know, sounds strange, but for me it was and is the best thing I could have ever done for myself. She has equipped me with the tools of knowledge and shown me how really important my eggs are. With a combination of applying what I have read and the tools Leianne has given me, I was eager to start applying my new skills in my everyday life.

One of the first areas I was forced to look at was gratitude. Yes, what am I grateful for? When I was down, sad and lonely, I was forced to see the sunshine and what is present. So, I started with the small things, like waking up “WOW I’m alive” and then for my senses, such as hearing, seeing, feeling. Yes, cheesey I know, but it was a starting point and the one thing that I never lost sight of was mountain biking. I love being able to ride my bike. Being on the bike always seem to put a smile on my face. 

So, I had to stop and ponder about my life and my current situation, I had so much to be happy about. I had great friends, loving and supportive family, awesome co-workers. I have a great home, nice car, good health and the ability to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. For this I am truly grateful for.

But, there is another part of this, that I must speak about, and that is love. I remember going to visit Lieanne one day and she asked me about my week. I broke down crying, I told her that, I couldn’t imagine not sharing the love I have with someone. That I feared I would be alone forever. We’ve all been there and if you haven’t, well you are one damn lucky person, when I finally composed myself, she said, “April, you don’t really believe that you will be alone right?” Silence set in for a moment, I knew I might  be alone now in the present moment, but, I also knew that I was not alone. What I realized was, I was trapped in my dream, but I had the power to change it all and that is exactly what I am doing. Through hard work, determination, perseverance and the help of a few special individuals I know I will reach my goal. I get closer and closer every day and can truly say that, the smile you see on my face, is a smile of genuine happiness.

If you haven’t read the book “The Four Agreements” I highly suggest it. These are simple agreements that we can apply to our everyday lives, that can have effective results, without having to do much.

Until next week, my song selection